Becoming more critical in 21th century: RELIGION

For one week I had been exposed by news about war because of the religion in several places. The one of the example is Rohingya refugee who came to Sumatra to get help. Stories about Rohigya genocide have been massive in media since last year. According to Wikipedia, Rohigya are indigenous to Rakhine State that migrated to Myanmar from Bengal during British rule in Burma.  It is about 1.3 million Rohingyas live in Myanmar in 2013. Rohingyas received attention from international organization who related with peace and human rights. 

Then in 2015, thousands of Rohingyas tried to escape from violence and persecution by migrated to Southeast Asian and called as boat people. They used boat as transportation and several thousand more are remain trapped on boat in the middle of the sea. I actually don’t know what the main problem is but as long as I know, media always relate the war with religion. The majority religion tried to protect their existence, then limited access for minorities. But is that true? I mean don’t we get prime by what we hear and see from media. 

I tried to searched the truth, had religion as the prime cause to war and in objective perspective and like Huffington.post (2012) said that “Encyclopedia of Wars” authors Charles Philips and Alan Axelord showed document from 1763 wars only 123 have been classified to involve a religious causes, less than 7 percent of all wars. That fact gives me some release, that my hypothesis is true. I always think that war nowadays is the way to cover up the main problem. Religion is something sensitive and private to discuss. This is the one of misconceptions about religion, because many people think that faith is incompatible and religion claim to absolute truth. Some people still think that violence is the will of God to worship His power. In fact, this way of think actually make us walk back into the dark of past.

Human make connection to three aspects God, nature, and other human being. Those connections are the roots of the way living. First is God which indescribable and people believe that God or power is omnipotence, omnipresence, and omnibenevolent. That make human feel secure and always get help when they in the worse condition. Second is nature which we call it sometime Mother Nature, and divide as earth, fire, water, and earth. The third is our connection to other human being, which include animal too. If we realize and fully keep the harmony of three connections, I believe there’s no war. 

While I am in junior high school until senior high school, I was studied at private school. My school is based on catholic foundation and actively in many catholic activities. But, this school is still open for anyone with various religions and so I learned many things for that. We have religion subject and not like many religion subject in several schools, I learned about other religion too. For the first time its hard and excited, because I need to understand how many religion see about one theme. Then, in that time I remember that I always excited when learned about Buddhist because the explanation is simple and just one paragraph  . What I learned from that subject is fascinating, the perspective of many religion see about one problem is actually same. They have positive way to solve that problem and give advice for the people. The different is just the way and for several problems the different even just the term.

Based on my experienced, in 21th century we need more critical with what we see, hear, and talk. I saw the differentiation with children nowadays who still get study about their own religion. The way religion subject teach in my school maybe have several deficiency but this is the good way to make children learn about other religion. Children will build their foundation that all religion have good way to make better world. They will more critical with the fast information in this digital era. And not only about religion subject but also how school protect the freedom of speech, and destroy the wall of majorities and minorities is small step to decrease the opportunity of war in the future. Peace is the highest religious aspiration for which we must work.  

PS: This is what I want to tell after hear arise several problem in the name of religion in Indonesia. I hope we don’t get trap in utopia vision, that the problem start not because religion and must be solve in the name of peace and humanity. 

Thanks to

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rabbi-alan-lurie/is-religion-the-cause-of-_b_1400766.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rohingya_people 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God

WHAT ARE YOU DOING AFTER GRADUATE?

Really, what am I doing after graduate?

That question come repeatedly to my mind. What I am doing, what will I do next, how can I survive after graduate, what I really passionate about. If you ask me that question right now, I will say I don't know. I remember after graduated and get bachelor degree I joined with educator course in Bali, apply several jobs (sadly I didn't get), than apply for internship in special school, went to Jogjakarta to make little event for the children and learned jewelry, accompanied my parents for holiday, that's it. If you read my story probably you will disagree with me. I know, it's seems like I'm not gratitude with what I got. Unfortunately I still feel not enough, I am craving for new experience, new friends, and new places. I have plan for next one and a half years, but I still need to talk about my plan and what I feel.

That's why I called my sisters (Kak Buki and Kak Natti, my lovely friends from educator course) to get some inspiring and reflective thought. We met at Universitas Indonesia and got dinner together in Burgreen Restaurant (recommended !!). What we talk about? Many things from what we learned from educator course and how we implemented to our life and our project.  This conversation brought me to same feeling which I feel when I'm in the course. They always make me feel amazing and positive (thanks a lot to them!!). I asked Kak Natti, how is work life? she answer that work is fun if you passionate about it. I keep thinking that many people around me somehow choose to come back to school than work, they said that work is boring, the only thing they like is money which help them to enjoy their life. Then I try to summarize from what people say that money will bring you to the happiness. But from Kak Natti's answer, it's different. She said that money it's not everything, you become small if you just only work for money. Really, I didn't get it for the first time! MONEY WILL MAKE YOU SMALL, I thought that a lot of money will give you to what you want. 

She explained with short story about people who focus with money and he can buy everything he want. But we need to know that things like, clothes, bags, and gadget give you short pleasure. That things can be broke sometimes and always have limit to use. When we rich our self with many experience, friends, and knowledge those things will stay until we die. We can feel that happiness every time we share that story, that the authentic happiness. My friends also said night before I met with Kak Buki and Kak Natti, that money is just a paper which we believe that can help us to get what we want. The desire to get what we want and never satisfied also the other form of power make us trap into the hole of  money orientation. 

Then Kak Buki shared about her project which is so freaking cool. She really passionate about it, she learn many things to make her richer with the knowledge and connection. I can see, hear, and feel it from the way she talked, she work hard to make her dream come true. Kak Natti also do the same, she love writing and she did that, it's turn out that her book is inspiring many peoples. Kak Buki said that sometimes you need become water in the river, just let it flow. You will find difficulty and  make you  turn to other direction but that's okay. In that moment I try to understand what I'm really searching for and what I'm passionate. The answer need some process, I will stand with my idealism but still flexible and want to learn many thing from others people. That's why I can't answer it right now, but I believe whatever I take always help me to become better and richer with knowledge, experience, and friends. 

"Discover your passion and TAKE ACTION"- this quotes wakes me and push me to discover my passion.

This article just random conversation I had with people around me, I hope if you have same question with me this random conversation will help you :)

http://quotesgram.com/img/your-passion-quotes/7125658/

Special Needs Children with Special Story Behind

Hey everyone,

So I just want you to know that after I graduated I choose to do internship in special school for special needs student. I believe that this opportunity came with the plan of universe. So when I finished my last exam for my thesis, I did volunteer for Alzheimer Indonesia. This event accidentally introduced me to someone who owner of the school. First I thought that search and apply for job in Bali (what I really want) is easy, but it's turned out "Not really". Maybe people will call me that I'm so idealistic, I choose to work in school or Non- profit than in cooperate,  I choose to work related to education, special needs student than work which related to economic or politic, I choose to work which located in Bali, East Indonesia, or outside country than work in Java Island. I'm being to optimistic and my father told me that I need to realize my capability that I'm a fresh graduate who don't have many experienced about works life. 

I believe this year will be a special year. God and universe introduce me to wonderful peoples from around the world and convince me about my path. I learned many thing from courage, work hard, professionalism, opportunity, and all things in my 22 years life in this world. So, after I met the founder of the school I decided to take internship in school and clinic. And do you know what I get??

AMAZING CHILDREN!!!!!!

I start my internship at August 18th the day after independent day, they have little party and games. The head officer wanted me to do short observation and give me chance to look how happy students and teachers while play variant of games. The truth is for 3 hours being in school, I feel little dizzy because majority of students is running, jumping, and screaming. It's new experience for me, when some teacher said to me to watch out one student with autistic. I hold his hand, make him to sit comfortably and quite. Hey!!! I realized that just for two seconds after that he jumping in front of me, jumping, and make a weird sound. Then I try for the second times to make him sit again and try to do clap and high five with him ( I can tell u that this game is work out for introduction, please remember just for introduction #1minuteonly). Then he jumping and running again, for a second I said to myself it's too hard for me, I give up. The teacher came to me and said that " He can't sit and be quiet, because he have difficulty to control his own body. When people push him, he can get anxiety and vomit so let him free but still guide him". I felt like 10 tons weight fall to make me realized that what I did before is wrong. Okay! I learned exactly in the right place.That day give me strength to wake up early every morning and take public transportation for almost 45 minutes and motorbike for 15 minutes. So this is my story....

My first day came to workshop class

Workshop class basically class for student start from 18 years old to deeper skill and knowledge so they ready to face the real world and survive. This class consist of around 20 students, they have different skills. There are students who works very well in all kind instruments like drum, guitar, bass, and piano. Then students who master at painting and crafts, also student who prefer to dance and sports. The student in here come with different needs, but most of them is Autistic Spectrum Disorder and Down Syndrome. When I came to their class for the first time, they look nothing different (I thought my appearance in their class will be special thing for them, but I'm not). They still love to ask many random question which not related, jumping, screaming, or some children even didn't notice me. But one thing that they want to know me about me is..."What am I doing in this class?" Well, I can 100% sure that's a hard question for me, and I answered "I want to learn with them and make more friends". 

So I want to share what I'm doing every morning until afternoon (so please don't get bored and still read my future story). Every morning, students have morning workout and stretching with cute movement, that make me smile everyday hahaha.... Then after that the class start, every children have their own schedule. The class system is moving class, so children need to get from one class to other class consistent with their class. Sometimes when they aren't in mood to do that class, the teacher will find way to change the schedule cooperate with other teachers. For children with down syndrome, they have instability emotion tendency and easily get angry, sad, or happy. Teacher must be sensitive with their emotion, and help them to have stable mood again.

My jobs is to help teacher guide the students while they learn. For the example when I help art class, the teacher will introduce me with all the equipment and the variety of learning. He let me to take responsibility for two or more children and help them to find out what they want to do in that class. The method of teaching is simple, just give them freedom but gradually increase the difficulty. When the one of the children can make portrait painting in black and white, the teacher then encourage that children to coloring and learn about shading. The progress will show if we take step by step, so the student will realize what they actually do. This process take many minutes, hours, day, even years. How the key of success teacher who work for this are patient, love, and passion. Everyday is a new day with new experience and problem, take a time to teach children with special need refer to their capability.

That the summarize of my job, I learned about the precious of connection between family (especially parents and siblings), teacher, children, and society. The process to raise awareness and connection to develop the children with help for varies part is important. The children will learn holistic and become a better student with their special needs. It's take a time to cooperate with the society especially break the stigma about the condition of the children. Like Vygotsky believe that environmental give impact to the children and that's why we need to clarify that children with special need is not Karma, Dosa (Sin), or many negative perception.That children come to this world to make us realize to be grateful, encourage other to do positive think, and show the world that NOBODY IS PERFECT!

So I will continue about my daily live internship at next story~

https://id.pinterest.com/pin/532480355916516801/

  

Living Values

"Education is a process of search meaning and purpose that's why educates heart and minds are important" -LVE-

Living values education program is practical methodology and experiential values activities for educators, facilitators, parents, and caregivers to help them provide the opportunity for children and young children to explore and develop universal values, associated with intrapersonal and interpersonal social and also emotional skills. The curriculum includes of several main values such as peace, respect, love, cooperation, happiness, honesty, humility, responsibility, simplicity, tolerance, freedom, and unity. LVE support the development of the individual and a culture of positive values in each society and believing that education can help humanity flourish. You can get more explanation, with open this link 

(http://www.livingvalues.net/about/docspdfs/Press%20Kit%20Int%20Fact%20Sheet%202011.pdf )

I knew about living values education for someone who worked at Green School Bali (Pak Scholastica), and he so passionate with Living Values Education Program. At first, I didn't understand about living values. I thought that living values was focusing on understand and live with values in our self. I didn't understand how people live in their own values in our variety society. I remembered when I made my thesis and talked about moral, which is so confusing. Moral, values, ethics are different or same? Do we have same moral or values across the world? Even, there's so hard to find questionnaire who exactly explain about the morality across countries. If I found several journal, they will explain in term of job culture, but how we define our universal values. 

I search definition of values, moral, and ethics from  

(http://www.tcls.org.au/01_cms/details.asp?ID=39) 

- ethics describes a generally accepted set of moral principles

- moral describes the goodness or badness or right or wrong of actions

- values describes individual or personal standards of what is valuable or important

From this simple definition we can define that values is based on personal standards which come from our knowledge about society principle. Then we originally define our principle into good and bad or right and wrong action. We can conclude that our values is actually based on our society and our self. That's why I agree with how the living values education mission to understand their own values in our society. 

These are several ways I get from LVE website to apply this program in our class:

1. Take time before start the lesson (I would like to say it's better to take a time for mindfulness session with short meditation)

2. Help the children to reflect and get positive environment before start the class ( I agree with this one, because not only the children but also the teacher need to get positive energy before start the class and put their personal problem).

3. Help children to understand their freedom and build relationship with society and nature (If you have a garden you can walk a while with them or you can easily get them say "hello" to each other student in the class with beautiful smile)

4. Build their self esteem (Based on my experience worked with special need children, we really need to build their understanding to value their self and help them to understand that every people is unique and worth it)

5. Give them confidence to responsible for what they do (I love to make them confidence with themselves because it's increase their self esteem. For the first time, I thought that they need our help with their limitation. Then I realized that who build the limitation is actually me, they can do it very well if we give them chance to responsible for what they do).

6. Open discussion to share their ideas (This moment not use just for evaluate about subject in our class, but discuss about many thing from their life and a good time to evaluate teacher performance. I learn not to afraid of critics!)

7. The most important things to share and grow the understanding of values also living in values. 

I found the interesting point of LVE program, that they based on twelve values which I think can apply very well in every situation. If we take one example like love value which all peoples know in every places in this world. Every people can describe differently about love, but they will agree that how to love is like how to give, caring, being kind, sharing, and become lovable to everyone around us.  That's the clever thing to put universal values in our education system. Children learn to build their own values based on the universal values which is important to build the connection with other human being and nature around them. Living Values Education give attention to build good relationship with our mother nature. We can get those values also from unconditional love of our mother nature.

 (My class in Gerakan UI Mengajar , 2015)

(Social Project @GriyoSabinCommunity Jogjakarta, 2016)

I'm not specialized with LVE, I just a person who attract and want to know more about it. So if you have any recommendation for me to understand more about LVE, please let me know in comment below.

*Sorry for the wrong grammar or words, I'm on the process to make it better*

Green Course Educator: part 2

Breathe, breathe in the air,

Cherish this moment,

Cherish this breath.

Tomorrow is a new day for everyone,

Brand new moon, brand new sun.

When you feel life coming down on you,

Like a heavy weight.

When you feel this crazy society,

Adding to the strain.

Take a stroll to the nearest waters

And remember your place.

Many moons have risen and fallen long, long before you came.

So which way is the wind blowin',

And what does your heart say?

So follow, follow the sun,

And which way the wind blows

When this day is done

Xavier Rudd - Follow The Sun 

I will start my article with this beautiful song from Xavier Rudd, these song basically make us realize that be gratitude for this moment and all the moment you already passed. We need to believe that every day begin with new sun and end with new moon, so then we can reflect what we did today? How we solve every problem and shade all the worries? Come back with what your heart say not only your thinking. Being this moment, present, not past or the future. Then for every worries and uncertainty are seem like wind, sometimes they come or blow away.

I would like to continue my story and what I got from Green Course Educator. 

In second or third day (I'm sorry I forget exactly the date) we had discussion about what is connection of art and sustainable education. We begun with conversation about Gaia Theories " The theory asserts that living organisms and their inorganic surroundings have evolved together as a single living system that greatly affects the chemistry and conditions of Earth’s surface. Some scientists believe that this “Gaian system” self-regulates global temperature, atmospheric content, ocean salinity, and other factors in an “automatic” manner. " (http://www.gaiatheory.org/overview/). Gaia theories or paradigm related with our mother nature or Pachamama. The reason behind why we called our nature is mother because nature give us everything with unconditional love and nurturing every human being. From this perception I realized that what I get from nature is all free, everyday, every second we have. Then the teacher told us to make our own culture, that's the way for us to recreate our myths, symbols, and heroes to re new our connection with our society and nature. We can apply these ways to find our own school culture, although it might be weird, but it's wort it.

 In this course we also talked with the architect of amazing bamboo building. They begun the project with brainstrom about the shape and material from local resources around the school. Like no others architect who came up the idea with theories and make a model by computer. The architect team begun with a model of building, use same shape and material. So they build all the bamboo building based on that model. The concept of wall-ness seen in every aspect of the architectural building and give impact to the atmosphere of the education. Like what I got before from psychology-architecture subject, there is a connection between the human and space. Human can impact to the design and function of space, in the same way space can also impact to our behavior and state of well being. That time I thought that kind of connection is just explain from theories or book. One time, I tried to observe the children behaviors in Green School and found out that they can expand their knowledge, sensory motor, and increase their sensitivity and concentration in the condition of wall-ness. They more connect with their environment and have space freedom to express, feel, and understand with experiential method. 

I just imagine if I had opportunity to come back to my early life and got chance to expand my connection and knowledge with society and other human being. What I look like in my future time?

Green Educator Course Journey - Education and Sustainable Education

Yesterday I finished my Green Course Educator, this course aim to help open minded educator for around the world to  learn more about Green School's holistic, student centered, nature-based curriculum. So, this is for the first time I got opportunity to met international educator and share their expertise in education and sustainability. Green School Bali has been my favorite school since two years ago. I even have planned to do my internship in Green School Bali before, but because I had responsibility to organize event in Jakarta I must postponed that. Five days in this course really give me new perspective not only about education but also about our real life, human being and the art of happiness. 

So, I will give summarize what I got for 5 days in these course. For the opening, they make some games and it's quite simple to introduce our self to other members. After that, Camilo (*from Biobus) divide our group into 4 and give us problem that we need to solve. We projected as firefighter who turn of fire with natural equipment around, and he just give us one cup of water. The problem is how to turn of the fire inside of circle with equipment that we made by natural resources around and water. The lesson from this games is the step to solve problem, that first we need planning, have goal and vision about our planning, do it!, and for the last and most important is evaluating. When we face with problem situation we can easily give up and go away from that, or we face it. 

Then in session two, we had art class with Penelope  a new teacher in Green School. Penelope basically made us comfort with our self and give us time to know what we looking for from this course. After that she told us to forget all about our expectation and just try to flow with this course like water in river. This moment help us to open our heart and strength our spirit during our course. Love yourself and side all worries and anxiety, give our body and mind space to feel the air and connected with our mother nature. Penelope said " When we still in early years as children, we love play in mud and being dirty is doesn't matter at that time. But then, it's suddenly change and we become anxious about all the thing when we grown up. Why? So that's why Green School Bali do something different and give all the children freedom to experience and know themselves better".  Then before the session is end Penelope taught one song

  Earth my body

  Water my blood

  Air my breath and,

  Fire *Clap* my spirit

This song is my favorite!!!! This song for me explain about how we as human being life in this world and always connected and need nature. Earth, water, air, and fire are four main resources that we need in our daily life. That four resources is powerful and also become a symbol for several indigenous group. 

Then we spent day one to visit all places in green school bali from class, garden, kitchen, and the best is the toilet. Three thing that important in Green School Bali is HOLISTIC, BEING GREEN, and WALL-NESS. That's why the teaching method which implemented in Green School Bali is about thinking and feel. They not only focus on intellectual thing and also to what children passionate about and how to learn to love with human, nature, and animal. In Bali is known as Tri Hita Karana, connected us with our society, nature and other human being, also our God. That's way to make all human being comfort with life we need protect nature and manage our trash into zero waste. So that's a summarize for day one in Green Educator Course, I will explain more about what I got in my next article.

" We need to help children achieve their own dream and facilitate them to develop their skill and feeling to become fullest". 

Temple Grandin

Have you ever watched Temple Grandin?

Let me tell the story, how I know about this film. When I'm met the head of special needs school, we talked much about the behavior of children. Every children have their own uniqueness, there are children who like to screaming, knock their head, or get anxiety every time hear loud voices. Those children is children with special needs, they maybe have autism, asperger, cerebral palsy, or other psychological disorder. Then the head of school recommend some movie for me to watch before start the internship in that school. For several years, I have passion with kids and education especially they are with special needs.

Temple Grandin ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1278469/)

Temple Grandin born with autistic disorder in 1950, that not yet familiar by society in that era. In early year of life she had difficulty to communicate, her frustration instead by screaming or humming. Temple life with her mother, in this film there's no story about her full family (or maybe I just didn't realize). The story begin when Temple had summer holiday in her aunt house, she look "normal" (like people said) but it's turn different when other people start talk with her. In aunt’s house she interest about animal behavior and how cowboy life. Then, the most important scene when she found that signboard which written her name was missing. She was afraid to open the door, in second her brain become overload with all the imagination and sensitivity from her sensory. She run and run until get into the cattle machine. That machine, help the cow to relax with the feeling of hug. Temple finally found the way to make her relax, she created her own squeeze machine, give her love incapable of receiving from human contact.

Temple Grandin film basically is biography film, give viewer understanding about the hard life of people life with autistic. The family condition and how they survived to grow their kids and become successful person. Temple Grandin showed the world that there's no “impossible”, she managed her own life and graduate on every education level with excellent. Despite many obstacle she met in her life made she down but also win to overcame with it. She even got into man world with her specialty in cattle industry, and created the perception and humane ways to dealing with cattle.

This film will help not only the children with autistic, family, society, also the teacher that the impact of environment can shape the future child. People usually think that autistic children are weird and have their own world, but in other side they actually have passion with one thing and will try hard to mastery that thing. Don’t judge children by their disability because they all have their own uniqueness.

Life is unpredictable or predictable?

Pernah suatu kali kita bertemu dengan seorang teman lama, dan kemudian kita berkata "Wah senang sekali bertemu kamu, ini diluar dugaan saya". Lalu kita mulai berpikir bagaimana kekuatan alam mempertemukan kita. Tetapi apakah benar bahwa hidup tidak dapat diprediksi layaknya pertemuan tadi?

Mari kita coba lebih perdalam elemen-elemen dalam kehidupan kita, kita sebagai pribadi, lingkungan sosial, alam, dan Tuhan atau kekuatan besar yang mencipta. Elemen-elemen tersebut baik secara sadar maupun tidak sadar membentuk pribadi dan persepsi dalam diri manusia. Hal ini menyebabkan manusia semakin kaya akan informasi dalam melakukan proses berpikir atau menyelesaikan permasalahan. Pada beberapa fase dalam kehidupan manusia, mereka selalu berhadapan dengan rahasia dan alasan-alasan dibalik kejadian atau fenomena. Misalkan pada kenyataan bahwa bagaimanapun seorang manusia berusaha untuk mencapai sesuatu, maka ada masa yang disebut dengan kegagalan. Saat kegagalan itu datang pemakluman yang dibuat adalah dengan melihat bahwa hidup tidak pernah kita bisa tebak.

Perjalanan kehidupan tidak dapat diprediksi, khususnya terkait apa yang akan kita temui di masa depan. Manusia hanya mampu mempersiapkan diri, seperti prajurit yang diminta turun ke medan perang. Tidak ada yang dapat memastikan apakah dalam perang tersebut ia selamat dan dapat bertemu istrinya, atau mati terhormat, atau mungkin juga ditawan dan akhirnya ikut dalam tim lawan. Pandangan bahwa kita tidak mampu memprediksi keidupan, menurunkan kecenderungan manusia untuk mencapai suatu tujuan secara ambisius. Kita diminta untuk lebih legowo, berserah, karena kekuatan hidup berada di tangan Tuhan/ kekuatan yang lebih besar.

Misalkan dalam doa yang saya panjatkan tiap malam, "Ya Tuhan saya berharap semoga Engkau melancarkan jalan kesuksesan, dengan memperbolehkan aku diterima di pekerjaan X". Doa yang saya ucapkan spesifik akan apa yang saya harapkan, tidak hanya berhenti di doa namun saya juga berusaha untuk memperolehnya. Hal yang telah dilakukan seperti menyusun cv, cover letter, menyiapkan segala pengalaman dan kegiatan sosial yang segudang untuk mengantarkan doa tersebut menjadi kenyataan. Pada masa mempersiapkan melamar kerja, terdapat pemikiran yang sedikit menggangu saya "Apakah benar saya dapat melewatinya, memang ada beberapa hal yang menurut saya kurang tetapi tidak terlalu besar atau signifikan". Akhirnya, doa itu tidak terwujud, saya ditolak ditempat yang saya inginkan, perjuangan saya sia-sia. Lalu pertanyaan tersebut berlanjut, "Tuhan memiliki rencana yang lebih baik pada saya” pertanyaan tersebut tidak pernah terjawab. Pertanyaan selanjutnya "Saya sudah dapat melihat kegagalan saya, banyak hal yang masih perlu saya persiapkan, kedepannya saya dapat melewatinya”. 

Kedua pernyataan tersebut jelas berbeda, saat manusia dihadapkan pada kegagalan atau masa sulit dalam hidupnya. Pernyataan pertama mendorong manusia untuk berserah, dan percaya bahwa “Do the best and God will do the rest”, meyakinkan kita bahwa setelah melwati masa sulit ini kita memasuki pintu yang lebih baik. Membantu manusia untuk menghilangkan spekulasi atau perhitungan seperti yang terjadi pada pernyataan kedua. Pernyataan kedua menekankan bahwa “Just do the best”, memberikan yang terbaik dan belajar dari kesalah berikutnya memanimalisir kemungkinan mengalami kegagalan. Hidup dipandang sebagai fase planning, monitoring, dan evaluating. Hal ini mendorong manusia terus mencari tahu dan terdorong untuk menemukan dan mengevaluasi kesalahan dalam dirinya, tidak dengan menyerahkan pada Tuhan atau kekuatan yang lebih besar.

Jadi apakah hidup dapat diprediksi atau tidak?

Tidak ada jawaban benar atau salah, seharusnya, atau tidak seharusnya, baik atau buruk. Hal yang penting untuk disadari, kehidupan merupakan perjalanan menemukan dan meninggalkan, mengejar atau terkerjar. Rahasia kehidupan sepenuhnya akan selalu ada, dan tidak menarik apabila kita dapat mengetahui apa yang akan terjadi di masa depan. Ketidakpastian dan ketidakmampuan untuk memprediksi kehidupan mengantarkan manusia dalam tahapan bersyukur, berserah, dan tetap berusaha karena tidak ada yang tahu akhirnya seperti apa.

Our unpredictable life are consist with effort and gratitude. 

The Art of Forgiveness

“Forgiveness as human strength, to move on and continue their life”
Pernahkah kita berada pada suatu kondisi dimana untuk beberapa lama membenci seseorang atau bahkan diri sendiri akan suatu hal. Kondisi ini membuat diri kita terpuruk, merasa tidak berguna, sedih, dan menurunkan kepercayaan diri. Kita kemudian mulai mencari cara untuk menyelesaikannya, dan orang-orang disekitar berpendapat bahwa dengan memaafkan, masalah tersebut akan selesai. Kata maaf merupakan kata yang telah kita kenal dan seringkali kita gunakan dalam kehidupan sehari-hari, namun bagaimana sesungguhnya kata maaf dapat mempengaruhi hidup kita?
Kata “maaf” dalam KBBI (Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia) diartikan sebagai pembebasan seorang dari hukuman akan suatu kesalahan.  Baskin dan Enright mendefinisikan kata maaf sebagai sebuah keinginan untuk melepaskan kebencian pada pelaku dengan pertimbangan yang tidak adil dan merupakan bentuk kemurahan hati bagi pelaku meskipun mereka memiliki hak untuk tidak diampuni secara moral. Melalui proses memaafkan, tingkah laku pelaku selanjutnya tetap tidak dibenarkan dan saat seseorang memafkan, bukan berarti mereka menyerah pada keadilan. Tindakan memaafkan dilakukan untuk mengurangi marah dan kebencian, di sisi lain meningkatkan pemikiran, perasaan, dan tingkah laku yang lebih positif.
Mengapa memaafkan mendorong emosi positif ? Hal ini dikarenakan dengan memaafkan, seseorang berada pada posisi terkuat dan bekuasa. Konsekuensi yang didapatkan seseorang saat ia memaafkan adalah perasaan bebas dan secara bertahap mereduksi stress, bersamaan dengan peningkatan kesejahteraan psikologis. Memaafkan juga mampu meningkatkan kualitas kehidupan individu menurut beberapa penelitian (Fitzgibbsons, 1998; Temoshok & Wald, 2005). Forgiveness Therapy seringkali digunakan untuk menurunkan tingkat kecemasan dan depresi juga peningkatan kepercayaan diri.
Bagaimana cara memaafkan? Menurut Psychology Today kita terlebih dahulu harus menyadari beberapa miskonsepsi terkait dengan memaafkan, yakni sebagai berikut:
1. Memaafkan tidak berarti mengampuni atau memaklumi kesalahan orang lain
2. Memaafkan tidak berarti harus menyatakan pada pelaku bahwa ia telah dimaafkan
3. Memaafkan tidak berarti kita tidak memiliki perasaan terkait dengan situasi yang telah terjadi
4. Memaafkan tidak berarti melupakan kecelakaan atau permasalahan yang terjadi
5. Memaafkan tidak berarti melanjutkan hidup dengan menyertakan orang tersebut
6. Memaafkan yang terpenting bukan dilakukan demi orang lain tetapi untuk diri kita sendiri.
Apabila kamu sudah siap untuk memaafkan maka beberapa langkah yang dapat dilakukan walaupun memaafkan dirasa tidak mungkin, adalah sebagai berikut:
1. Pikirkan terkait kejadian yang membuat diri merasa marah. Mencoba untuk menerima keadaan tersebut, menerima perasaan marah dan bagaimana reaksi kita terhadap keadaan tersebut. Hal yang harus kita sadari bukan pada bagaimana kita memaafkan, tetapi menyadari realita mengapa hal tersebut terjadi dan pengaruhnya terhadap kehidupan kita.
2. Menyadari dan mengakui pengaruh dari kejadian tersebut terhadap pengalaman selanjutnya. Proses ini akan membantu diri kita bahwa melalui kejadian terburuk itu kita mungkin saja sudah lebih banyak belajar, berkembang dan semakin kuat baik secara mental maupun fisik.
3. Pikirkan orang lain, saat kita menyadari bahwa saat kita terluka sesungguhnya orang lain sedang berusaha untuk memenuhi kebutuhan dirinya. Dengan mencoba menempatkan diri sendiri di kondisi orang lain, kemungkinan besar kita mampu mengetahui kesulitan yang dialami orang tersebut?
4. Terakhir, tentukan apakah kamu akan menyatakan bahwa kamu telah memaafkan mereka. Kita dapat memilih untuk menyatakan kata maaf secara langsung atau tidak. Hal yang dapat kita lakukan misalnya dengan menyatakan “Saya memaafkanmu” dengan lantang saat kita berada di tempat dimana kita nyaman untuk mengungkapkannnya dan menambahkan alasan yang layak diberikan kepada orang tersebut.

Memaafkan memang tidak menghapuskan segala pengalaman buruk dan perasaan sakit yang pernah dialami. Namun sebaliknya, dengan bekerja keras untuk memaafkan kita menunjukkan penghormatan terhadap diri, dan meyakinkan diri bahwa kita berhak untuk memperoleh kebahagian yang sesungguhnya.

Lebih lanjut apabila masih terdapat keraguan dalam memaafkan dapat mengunjungi
https://couragerc.org/wpcontent/uploads/Enright_Process_Forgiveness_1.pdf (untuk mencoba menjawab beberapa pertanyaan yang akan membantu kita dalam memaafkan)

Daftar Pustaka
Brandt, Andrea. (2014). How Do You Forgive Even When It Feels Impossible? Diunduh dari https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mindful-anger/201409/how-do-you-forgive-even-when-it-feels-impossible-part-1

Griffin, J. (2009). The role of forgiveness in adult learning and education. In M. S. Plakhotnik, S. M. Nielsen, & D. M. Pane (Eds.), Proceedings of the Eighth Annual College of Education & GSN Research Conference (pp. 44-49). Miami: Florida International University. Diunduh dari http://coeweb.fiu.edu/research_conference/

Reed, G. L., & Enright, R. D. (2006). The effects of forgiveness therapy on depression, anxiety, and posttraumatic stress for women after spousal emotional abuse. Journal of consulting and clinical psychology, 74(5), 920. Diunduh dari http://internationalforgiveness.com/files/Spousal-Emotional-Abuse.pdf

Photo from https://id.pinterest.com/source/spoken.ly

Social Project Sleman (January)

"Ada sebuah pengalaman berharga yang dititipkan pada setiap senyum anak-anak"

Pada tanggal 19 Januari 2016, saya dan keempat teman saya memutuskan untuk berlibur di Jogjakarta. Kota asal ayah dan ibu saya, yang selalu saya kunjungi hampir setiap tahun. Anehnya, tidak pernah ada kata bosan untuk mengunjungi Jogjakarta. Kami memilih untuk mempersiapkan perjalanan dengan menentukan destinasi yang akan kami kunjungi disana. Saya sendiri memfokuskan pada proyek sosial di desa tempat tinggal ayah. Kami setuju untuk memilih hari Sabtu dan Minggu sebagai waktu yang tepat untuk mengadakan acara bagi anak-anak di desa. Tujuan besar dari proyek sosial ini adalah mendorong anak untuk berani bermimpi, membuka persepektif anak-anak akan dunia. Oleh karenanya saya mendaftarkan proyek sosial ini di situs https://www.workaway.info/417246254867-en.html 

Penjelajah

Ia yang duduk di sisi jalan
Bermandikan peluh dengan baju warna abu
Beralaskan sepatu coklat tua dan peta di genggaman
Ia menundukkan kepala mencoba mencari arah

Debu-debu dari asap cerobong tua kendaraan
Beradu dengan deru mesin
Ia tak lagi ada disana
Imaji berkelana
Mencoba kembali pada malam penuh cerita

Ia hanyalah pengelana
Mencoba mencari makna hidup
Makna hidup yang banyak dituliskan pujangga
Akan sebuah negeri indah disana

Ia tak lagi membutuhkannya
Ia lelah dalam kesendiriannya
Apakah ia harus berhenti?
Apakah perjalanannya sia-sia?

Kembali tersadar, ia bangkit
Kemudian berlalu

How I falling in love with Yoga?

 “Yoga is like music: the rhythm of the body, the melody of the mind, and the harmony of the soul create the symphony of life.” 

― B.K.S. Iyengar

Saya mengenal yoga kurang lebih dari SMP, banyak baca buku tentang yoga dan gerakannya. Hal yang menyenangkan saat masih SMP bersama kakak dan papa kita sama-sama mencoba untuk yoga bersama. Yoga yang saya kenal dahulu hanya yoga yang tergambar di buku kecil seharga 15 ribu. Sampai akhirnya memasuki SMA saya lebih banyak mencari terkait yoga mulai dari internet atau dengan mengunduh aplikasi di smartphone. Beberapa orang mulai mengajak saya untuk yoga di tempat-tempat seperti gym dan lain-lain tapi saya tidak pernah tertarik.

Hingga beberapa tahun kemudian kakak saya sempat bekerja di Bali dan memberitahu bahwa setiap minggu ia selalu pergi ke Ubud untuk yoga. Saat itulah pertama kali saya datang ke tempat yoga di Ubud dan langsung merasa jatuh cinta (Radiantly Alive, Ubud). Yoga bisa saya ibaratkan seperti tarian dimana terdapat unsur rasa dan emosi. Selain tempat yang sangat mendukung, disana saya mencoba untuh push my limit, yoga menantang saya untung mempertahankan suatu gerakan yang saat itu saya rasa menyakitkan. Nafas menjadi kunci utama, setiap gerakan tidak akan pernah berdiri dengan kuat saat ada unsur keraguan yang menyebabkan produksi nafas jadi tidak beraturan. 

Sesampainya di Jakarta saat libur akhir semester saya mencoba untuk bergabung dengan Iyengar. Yoga memang memiliki beberapa aliran, seperti vinyasa, iyengar, yin yang, astanga, dll. Saya rasa dari semua aliran tersebut, yang paling sesuai bagi saya adalah Iyengar. Iyengar yoga menekankan pada alignment dimana setiap gerakan memiliki akar dan maksud yang ingin dicapai. Misalkan dalam melakukan "Tadasana", yang tidak lain adalah berdiri. Saya sendiri menyadari bahwa seringkali kita melakukan standing pose atau pose berdiri yang salah. Yoga mengajarkan untuk memperbaiki bentuk tubuh dan kerja otot. Pose tadasana menekankan pada tumit yang kuat mendorong kaki yang kuat pula, kemudian dada yang membusung dengan tulang rusuk yang ditekan ke dalam, kemudian bagian tulang belakang yang lurus. Menurut penuturan salah satu guru, saat gerakan ini dilakukan dalam keseharian kita, maka struktur tubuh dapat membaik lama kelamaan.

Berlatih yoga tak sepenuhnya bahagia, bahkan saya sempat tidak diperbolehkan menggerakkan lutut selama kurang lebih 3 minggu karena mengalami dislokasi. Beberapa dokter menyarankan untuk saya berhenti dan tidak lagi melanjutkan latihan. Saya memang bukan seseorang yang berlatih yoga setiap hari, namun kata berhenti tidak pernah ada di kamus saya terlebih saat berurusan dengan yoga. Saya akhirnya mencari-cari aliran apa yang sesuai, dan saya kembali untuk kedua kalinya jatuh cinta dengan Iyengar Yoga. Saya tidak tahu sampai kapan saya akan bertahan, namun saya yakin saat kita mencintai sesuatu maka kita tak pernah terluka karenanya, termasuk dalam Yoga.

Tentang waktu

"Tulisan ini dibuat sebagai pembuka dalam blog baru yang dibuat"

Tentang waktu yang kurasa tak pernah cukup

Tentang waktu yang berlalu dan tak jarang kumaknai

Tentang waktu yang aku rindukan 

Tentang waktu yang membuatku semakin sadar

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